CLIENTS SO STUPID YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT. Rawr!

First, she asked, “Why didn’t you page the brochere?” I thought for a second. Page a brochere? “Nobody pages a brochure.” I told her a minute later. Especially not one that has only 8 pages. “Why not? Why not?” She asked twice, impatiently. How do I explain to her that people just don’t? But from my experience, she won’t be listening. So I simply told her, “You just don’t.”

At 7pm yesterday, she called to ask me to make some minor changes to the 2 brochures I was supposed to do for her. She started off making nitty gritty bo liao changes like grammar and vocab changes. Jesus! What a waste of my time!

At one point of time she called and screamed: “Why is this…blah blah blah? I trust you to use your own judgement before throwing in everything that I sent you..blah blah blah.” I wanted to tell her: I didn’t ask you to think of designs for me, I would trust you to check your own work before sending them to me. Why should I do your work for you? Bitch! But of course I didn’t. I can’t :(

Finally, at almost 11pm, FA is all done and ready to be sent to the printer. Unfortunately, it adds up to over 200mb of files and so we’ll have to go thru’ FTP transfer. She emailed me and requested I send the working files to her. I told her: Sorry, files are too huge. Won’t be able to email them to you. (And God knows what she wants them for because those are all working files and there’s no way she could view them anyways. Idiot! But she emails back and insisted: No problem. I have 1GB of storage space. Please email them to me.

Ha ha. What a joker. Was she trying to cheer me up? I ignored her. But she called. “ Can you email the files to me? My email account can take up to 1GB of files.” I sighed. It’s 11pm and you’re trying to test my patience. “I can’t. It’s not about how much storage your account has. 200mb just won’t go through.” She huffed. “Why? 200mb is pretty small, isn’t it?” She insisted in that cheesy accent of hers.

I hate it when she asks me why. Why should I waste time explaining something you won’t understand?? “It just won’t. And 200mb of files is pretty huge. (At this point I purposely stifled a soft, yet audible laugh of mockery) 200mb won’t pass the transfer. Nobody uses email to transfer 200mb of files.”

“Oh?” She pauses to absorb all that information that I’ve just piled on her head. “Well then..”

“I’ll copy you the email I’ve sent to the printer. That way you can keep track of the status of the printing. Ok?” I interrupted her unkindly. This bitch has wasted my Friday night, I’m not going to let her waste another minute of mine! “Alright. Fine. Please do. Thank you.”

I hung up and immediately called Singtel to permanantly bar her number from my calls. I don’t want to be ever hearing from this witch again!